Japan VS America
by LadySkarlettofSkaro
Summary: What did Japan ever do to America? All he had done was bother France a few times. Who didn't want to do that? So, Japan gets revenge on our hamburger-eating hero...if only he stopped eating. Based on events of Pearl Harbor


"Countdown!"

"Uno!"

"Ne."

The usual start of the Axis Powers' training session. Germany worked hard to whip the two countries- the loud and always cheerful Italy and the quiet, polite Japan- into shape to go against the Allies. And although it was five against three, the threesome of the Axis believed they would triumph over their enemies despite the advantage. Well…Italy would be confident until an Allied Power would look at him, and then he'd raise his famous little flag to surrender to them. But that's Italy.

"Now then," Germany began, "I think ve have had enough training to move on. Ve must attempt at an attack on our enemies."

"Ooh! Germany-Germany-pick-me!" Italy cried out, waving his hand in the air as he shoved Japan out of the way. "I-want-to-go-I-want-to-go! -"

"iiiitaLLLLLY!"

"White flag! _White flag!_ Please don't-a hurt me, Germany! I promise to-a be quiet!" The brown-haired nation pleaded, waving a makeshift white flag wildly in the air.

Germany sighed in exasperation. He made him crazy sometimes; it was surprising he hadn't dumped him on the side of the road yet.

"Might I suggest an attack plan?" Japan spoke up.

"Vhat is it…" "Ya! Do tell, Japan! I want to hear you plan!" The duo, one grouching and the other merrily, said.

"If we launch an attack at America, we could weaken our enemies' team. Then we can bring down Britain and the others."

The blond-haired man was silent for a while, thinking about this decision. The other, however, was smiling bigger than ever…and chatting as usual.

"Oh Japan that's a great idea! We should-a have thought about this before!" Italy exclaimed in joy. "We should definitely attack him he won't even know!"

"Good plan, but…who vill attack?"

"I would like to," the quiet one stated, bowing slightly. "There is something I would like to get back at America for…."

"Oh? Vhat's that then?"

* * *

><p><em>Flashback:<em>

_A few days ago, Japan is seen sitting in a peaceful garden drinking some tea he made himself. He doesn't see the nation sneak up behind him with stealth equal to a ninja as he took another sip. America then took a giant branch he had picked up and hit the gentle cut out of Japan's pale hands. He gasped quietly in surprise as the nation who had once followed Britain laughed in his obnoxious, loud way._

"_HAHAHAHAHA! You should have seen the look on your face when I knocked that prissy little cup out of your hands! HAHAHA! :D" America then went off, having seen a stand of ice cream in front of him. "ICE CREAM! I CALL DIBS!"_

_Japan was in shock. He liked that tea. Why did America always have to be obnoxious? All he had done was bother France a few times._

_History: After Germany conquered France, Japan took over French colonies in southeast Asia. The US refused to sell oil and scrap metal to the island due to this act. When the two met, neither side could compromise. So Japan decided to launch an attack on America._

* * *

><p>"Interesting…," Germany pondered. "Vould you be up to it?"<p>

"Hai," Japan replied. "I rill be fine."

"Good luck Japan!" Italy cried out. "I even made-a you some pasta for your trip!"

* * *

><p><em>About an hour later:<em>

The quiet nation spotted America at a picnic table in the forest, eating hamburgers with his feet up on the table. He was alone, so no one would bother him…and no one would see him get attacked. Japan drew his sword, ready to attack, and he raised it to the side, ready to knock the hamburger out of his hand—

"Hey, Japan! You look like a girl from this angle! Wanna burger? It's really good! Hey, what's with the sword?"

_Caught…._He sighed. "No thank you…." He bowed and disappeared into the shadows once again, disappointed that he hadn't succeeded.

A while later (with about one or six burgers in his hand or pockets), America went to see China, but what he already saw was a show worth watching. China and Japan were fighting, both sweating and with different weapons: the oldest one with his wok and ladle, and the latter clutching the hilt of his sword. Finally, Japan knocked the ladle out of his enemy's hands, and eventually disabled the wok as well. But the older nation didn't look scared or nervous. In fact, he still bore a confident look, like he was sure he would win still.

"I have taught you well, old friend," he scoffed, hair tumbling from his pony tail, and crossed his arms while standing to the side. "Well then take what you want. I don't care much for it."

A few seconds later, Japan walked out of China's home with his arms full of cookbooks. Instantly, the nation regretted this and walked after the fighter as he continued walking, pleading for him not to take the cookbooks. But Japan ignored him, China ran off to complain to Britain and France, and America, who had gotten bored, walked away.

_History: Thanks to a militaristic government, Japan's soldiers were filled with thoughts that they were better than other Asians and non-Asians. So, they decided to expand and went off to Manchuria, China, conquering it and renaming it Manchukuo. China complained to the League of Nations, but they only condemned Japan. As for America, they decided to be assholes and not take any action whatsoever at Manchukuo._

Next, America took a visit to see his not-so-good friend, Britain, who was currently busy scowling and sitting on a chair outside, with a look-alike of him (most likely his big brother Scotland) trying to get what seemed like the bottom half of a bomb out of his head. Upon seeing it, America started laughing and pointing. The cross nation glowered up at him. "What's so funny, you bloody twit?" He snapped in annoyance, and then winced in pain as his brother touched a sensitive spot.

"You got a blitz in your head, dude!" He exclaimed while still laughing. "That's so badass! I want one!"

"Allow me."

America turned, and dodged just in time as the sword came clashing down, nearly slicing the burger. He finished it, and waved to Japan. "Wow, are you some sort of stalker? You still look like a girl from behind, dude! Is that some sort of skill or something?" He finished his burger. "Well, see ya, Britain!"

Japan glared at the glasses-wearing nation, and then looked at the green-eyed one in hidden curiosity. "Why is there a bomb in your head?"

"Germany…," Britain grumbled, and then cried out as the bomb was suddenly and painfully yanked out of his head with annoying pain. "What the bloody 'ell was _that_ for?"

"You asked me to get it out for you," Scotland snapped in his rich accent. "Don't be complaining, or else I'll shove it _way_ up your ass for you."

The two started yelling at each other, and Japan found this as a cue to just walk away. He had something better to do.

* * *

><p>About a half hour later, Japan once again found America eating a burger obnoxiously loud, ready with one of his own concoctions. He had stolen the cookbooks to take a bit of China's food and blend most of the ingredients into something so disgusting that even Italy wouldn't want to <em>look<em> at it. Japan walked over silently, and America rotated around.

"Ey U'an, ow ii oh'in'?" He asked through a mouthful of food, and then swallowed. "What's up, dude? Why'd you fight China before? What'd he do? Ooh, a burger! You givin' this to me? Thanks, dude! :D"

America put his last burger in his other hand, and started to open his mouth to eat the concoction, but stopped at the smell. He took a big whiff, and his face contorted into one that was highly revolted by the disgraceful hamburger.

"Dude, this looks like England got stoned and decided to disgrace a hamburger! I'm not eating this freaking piece of shit!" With an amazing pitcher's arm, he chucked the burger as if it were a baseball, sending it over the trees and flying. Japan gazed at it in shock, and then grew a bit cross as America continued to talk. Of course he wouldn't take it. "Glad that's over. I'm happy I managed to _not_ pick up Britain's cooking talents. I actually have good taste." He went in for a bite of the burger-

_Smack!_

The glasses-wearing nation opened his eyes, and could only watch as Japan slapped the burger out of his enemy's grip and then took it over to a nearby lake, where he held it above the water with a steady glare and dropped it in. America rushed over to it, yelling, and dropped to his knees as it instantly sank and crumbled.

"WHYYYYYYY! DX" He exclaimed. "WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE MY FOOD? WHY NOT BRITAIN'S?" He started sobbing like crazy, banging his fists against the grass as Japan walked away, satisfied with what had happened.

_History: Because America had closed the trade with them, Japan wanted revenge and launched a surprise attack on the naval base in Oahu, Hawaii called Pearl Harbor. The Japanese thought they had finished the Americans, but they only made them really pissed off. X3_

* * *

><p>"Japan…vhat did you do to America?" Germany wondered about two days later during their laps around the training field. Japan looked at America, who had his trademark pilot's jacket on and was standing in a heroic pose on top of a cliff.<p>

"LISTEN TO THE HERO TALKING AS I THREATEN YOU! YOU ATTACKED AND THREW MY BURGER IN THE LAKE! THAT WAS CRUEL!" He hollered. "NO ONE MESSES WITH _MY_ BURGER!"

"Beats me," Japan shrugged. "He is America."

Taking this as a reasonable answer, the two continued. Italy, however, was lying down in the grass with a kitten in his hands. "Aw, such a pretty kitty, no?" He cooed, petting the cat. It purred and rubbed its head underneath his chin. "Aaww, I-a like you too, kitty! I shall call you…_Bella_!" The feline once again purred, and he screamed for joy. "Oh this kitty is so cute and she's all mine, I'm-a gonna love you forever!"

* * *

><p><em>Afterwards:<em>

"Germanyyyyy! I got a present for you!"

Germany groaned; that _immature_, ear-grating voice. "Vhat is it now?" He wondered, trying to sound as bored as he usually did when Italy made him something.

"I got you a present! Aren't you happy? I didn't have anything else to do so I decided to put this together for you because you are my friend, and without you, I would still be bullied by big brother France and my shoes would still be untied and I would-a be falling all-a over the place!"

The blond-haired man glared at his ally, and Italy, assuming that he was waiting for his present, moved his hands that had been behind his back to his front.

"PASTAAAAAAAAAA!"

The German was quiet, staring at the plate with the sauce-covered spaghetti with meatballs softly placed in the middle. "You made me pasta…."

"I took-a some of the water that Japan uses to make his-a morning tea that I-a don't like! It tastes-a like grass!"

As soon as Italy had started talking again, Germany went back to the papers he had been working on before he had been interrupted, but paused in fear when he heard about taking the water that Japan used to make his morning tea. Hadn't America just done the same thing? "Um, Italy, that wasn't a ve-"

"What happened to all de water?" Japan asked, walking into the room.

"Oh, I used it to make Germany some pasta, for _aaaallll_ the great things he has-a done for me! X3" The brunette replied. "See?" He showed his ally the plate, but regretted it when he saw how Kiku closed his eyes and growled quietly. "White flag heeeeere! Please-a don't hurt meeeee! I'm frail and weak and don't-a hit my face or my balls or my tummy, I just ate-a some pasta before I saw Germany! White flag! _White flag!_ DX"

* * *

><p><strong>Hello, Lady Skarlett here. I usually write for Sonic the Hedgehog and occasionally Doctor Who, but I fell in love with Hetalia (so much I know the theme song at the end of the episode by heart AND I can do an amazing Italy impersonation). <strong>**So, yes, my first Hetalia fic. I adore world history and the show, so I just HAD to post this. It's basically my POV of how Pearl Harbor went down in Hetalia if they had done it (I was sad they didn't, so I decided to write this down).**

**Yes, that is Scotland. I didn't really create one of him, but he's there. Anyways, I do not own Italy, Germany, America, Japan, Britain/England, China or France (mentioned). If I DID...let's just say it's better I DIDN'T own them.**

**So, review. I wanna see how this turned out n' stuff. I'm hoping to finish my USxUK oneshot soon, so if you enjoyed this, look out for that one.**

_**~~Lady Skarlett out**_


End file.
